within my darkest night

within my darkest night | gouache on illustration board | 12″ x 16″

This Advent season feels especially acute, and frustrating. Every day there is a new report, a new study, a new policy, that steers us towards climate doom. Trying to fathom and live within this truth is almost unbearable.

And yet, we cannot wait. What is imagined as a far-off restoration, what is dreamed as salvation, what is deferred to a future abstraction – is a privileged, complacent, despairing state. We need to awaken the second coming in our hearts, find the guiding stars under our own feet. Waiting is intolerable. Longing for our truest selves to awaken is the Advent of our time.

“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.”

~ St. Francis of Assisi