It’s January 1, 2026. As I write this, I am 48 years old. I have yet discovered so little. I’m walking the same paths daily, with some new terrain. The landscapes change, but the daily walk is unchanged. Or rather paradoxically, newness is always inherent.
Striving, ever-seeking, a chase after self-renewing meaning, that shimmering weave on the loom of the world. I too am unceasingly chasing and hunting for this shimmer, through my own craft and inquiry. I am an “ever-seeker.” For what? For the next experience of my life. This one life I have been given.
In reflecting on the time I’ve had, I’ve shifted from self-improvement to self-discovery. I can eat a little better and exercise more and try to be nicer to others. But I discover that underneath these surfacy gestures are dark, unconscious motivations. Inherited stories and adaptations learned by being in the world. Under those, buried needs that cry out for attention. Yet not things to fix or hide, but aspects of myself to live with, honestly, and…I suppose lovingly.
Creases, tears, and folds emerge in my 48 year old face, weathered by the creases, tears, and folds born on my psyche. Wrought manipulations done by my hands, in response to navigating harsh landscapes. Flaws that become a kind of truth. We never begin clean or get clean. We arrive to this Now shaped by time, experience, culture, loss, love. It’s a new year but never a fresh start. We carry our experiences and histories into every new moment. More or less broken, but a little more awake than before.
But what if brokenness is not the opposite of wholeness? What if wholeness includes the cracks?
My intentions this year, such as they are, is not perfection, clarity, or certainty. It’s presence. To stay with experience as it unfolds. To meet disorder with openness. No more answers for me. I’m seeking invitations. I’m practicing letting go, to be more open. Where does this Pathless Path go?
For now, I’ll keep walking these paths and responding to the marks I make and the ones I discover—inside and out. Endless landscapes to explore, outside and within. Off I go.
May your own seeking this year reveal a shimmering weave on the loom of your world.
