I am not a licensed, bonded, trained professional handyman or contractor. I have never worked in roofing or construction or anything remotely related. But a couple of weeks ago I went to clean the gutters and found several dislodged shingles, I knew it was time.
I’ve been sitting on replacing this old roof for a couple of years (the roof is over 20+ years old). I’ve been watching roofing companies around the neighborhood crank out roofs on other houses in a couple of days, observing their processes (and frankly, the ways they cut corners – like in one instance, simply throwing a new roof right on top of the old one).
I know that I am not fast, I am not super-experienced, but I am willing!
So it is that over a weekend, I ordered the delivery of a dumpster, ordered a few thousand dollars worth of shingles, went down to the (amazing) neighborhood tool library for a couple of roofing shovels, and started on my current odyssey – replacing my roof.
I knew it would be a big task, but I also knew it wouldn’t be as big a task as building my studio was. And I’d save literally tens of thousands of dollars (that I don’t have) hiring a pro to do it.
Once I’d started though, a looming pressure and urgency formed. I wasn’t going to get this done in a couple of weeks, as I thought. It was going to be several at least. Also, this is my HOUSE. I can’t screw this one up – a leaky flawed roof could be devastating.
So it is that I’ve been watching hours of roofers on Youtube (amongst Youtube roofers, there is zero consensus on how to do anything (drip edge inside or outside the underlayment? How do you cut and install a vent? How much ice/water shield is necessary, or should one use it at all? How much overhang for shingles is it 1/4 an inch, 3/4 an inch? They all disagree!), and I feel like an AI bot trying to synthesize all their practices into something resembling a way forward).
Trying to process all this, with a currently-as-I-write-this an exposed house roof, has kept me up at 3am staring at the ceiling, wrestling with whether I’d made a massive mistake taking this on, unable to relax and fall back asleep.
What if I do it wrong?
Actually, I don’t want to be doing this at all.
Arrive. Prepare. Attack.
A yoga instructor at our neighborhood studio describes the intention of the Warrior poses as one preparing for battle. She brings this intention to the pose – “Arrive. Prepare. Attack” and offers it as a way of approaching each day.
I hold this intention as I drop into Warrior II, looking down my arm to the edge of my fingers, clearing my mind of the hundred tasks needed to complete the roof (and all the variable imaginings of what can go wrong – which are the real cause of overwhelm). Instead, looking past my fingertips, in this attack posture, I consider one thing I can begin. Find a roofing nailer – I don’t have one, the tool library doesn’t have one, I don’t really want to buy one for a single job. But if I’m going to build and finish a roof, I’m going to need one. Start here.
Photo Balaji Srinivasan – originally posted to Flickr, licensed by CC 2.0
Can’t Do Everything. Do One Thing.
Replacing a roof is not how I want to spend my summer. This is where I tell you now that I haven’t made any art since early May. And, I don’t know when I’m going to get back into the studio to make anything (which currently is serving as a staging site for tools, which lie all over the floor). Of course I’d rather be making art.
I can be resentful and grouchy, but I’m noticing that and letting those feelings move through me (typically in the form of a lot of swearing), so I can simply get on with what needs doing. Taking the yoga mantra from above, I have arrived (the roof is old and bad and needs replacing), prepared (dozens of youtube videos, materials in hand, enough knowledge to go do something), and attacked (this is what my life requires of me today. I cannot do any more than that).
In my last correspondence with you I named that it rains and pours – this past Spring was a busy art season for me with retreats and exhibits and new work. It sure was fun!
Conversely, sometimes it also goes totally dry. It’s summer, it’s arid, there’s no new art, no announcements for shows. Right now, it’s simply needing to set aside making art for this season, so I can replace the roof of my house.
Yesterday morning, my legs were sore, I had stomach cramps, and I was very cranky. There was no way I was going to be able to get this done. Waaaaaaah! Yet miraculously by 3pm, I felt much better. Energized, even. I got up on the roof and cranked on three hours of shingle install. It’s looking good, and I would even call it…joyful?
Life simply happens to us, sometimes good, sometimes challenging. Whatever orbits your awareness, slow it down to today. We can’t do everything, but we can do one thing. Choose the arm amongst the many you possess, the one best equipped to approach today’s task, and go do that.
This summer I am using my roofing arms. Later, the ones that make some art.
Arrive, prepare, and attack.
